Sharon’s Story

Going back over all the memories of the past few years has been rewarding and exhausting for both Donnie and me.

Pastor Dave Harbin performed the wedding ceremony for Donnie and me at the First Asssembly of God in Calhoun, Ga. On March 31, 2000. Lajuana Reid and Michael Yates both sang . Michael wrote the song he sang especially for Donnie and me. It is entitled,"Now is the time." Leon Covington, my proxy dad walked me down the aisle. Geraldine Easley, and my daughters, Sharoll and Gina stood by me. Mike Yates,Leon and Donnie's son Kasidy stood with Donnie. It was a special day.

In 2001 while at work I noticed that I was having a lot of discomfort in my chest. It was hard to breath. Sharoll and I worked at the same place and had to be there daily from 4am till 12.

By the time we got off work, the pain was almost unbearable. We stopped at Urgent Care. They scared me. I was hooked up to an EKG. I was given a GI-Cocktail then given Nitro-glycerine. My heart beat was very erratic and nothing they did could regulate it.

I was sent to the hospital and kept there for over a week. Then I was readmitted a few days later to undergo a complete hysterectomy due to several tumors and cysts that were draining my blood supply and causing my heart to be affected.

I was given 2 units of blood at 2 seperate times.

I was told, upon my last release, to avoid stress (yea, sure I guess they din't know that Donnie's crash with cancer would take my stress level to the max!) and to take medications, including Nitro-glycerine. I cannot avoid stress and I do not take medication for this problem.

I often have a very erratic heartrate and chest discomfort and occasional panic attacks but they are ususally brought on by all we have had to go through since March 2002.

2002 brought several changes to our lives.

We moved from the 3-bedroom, 2 bath home to the apt. we now live in, in Jan. It is small but cozy.

We were saving to get a home of our own and it was my dream to get a red Siverado truck for Donnie.

Donnie's dad passed away in Jan. It was very hard to go to Perfect Fit to give Donnie that news.

In Feb., Donnie started experiencing a LOT of pain in his mouth. We figured it was a bad tooth.When we went for his dental appt. they decided to pull the tooth. I could hear Donnie in the waiting area. They could not numb his gums, at all! The doctor claimed that he used all the amount of medication allowed but he would not get numb. So they had to just pull it.

Donnie dropped me back off at work and got his prescription filled. He fell asleep and I had to find a way home. It was late when I got home because I got off at 8pm.

We had one car.I'd take him to work at 6am. I'd go in at 8am. I'd get off at 5,long enough to go pick him up. He'd drop me back off at work and then pick me up at 8pm. It made for a long, tiring day. I worked 5 days a week and 4 hours every other Saturday. He worked 5 days a week.

1 week after having the tooth pulled, all of Donnie's teeth were loose. It was weird! When he'd close his teeth together, some would go forward, some back. It was impossible for him to chew. The doctor said the teeth would tighten up, they were loose due to having the other tooth pulled. They never tightened up!

Donnie could only eat food that he could swallow without chewing.

I do not care for eggs! I never have. From March to November I ate mashed eggs, mashed soup, mashed potatoes and crushed, into cornmeal like, cereal with Donnie. I refused to eat what he could not eat. I felt that it would not be fair. He appreciated it and it touched him that I would do that. When his hair fell our due to radiation he smilingly looked at me with his eyebrows uplifted.., I said, Nope, I wont shave off my head. Of course, had he been serious, I would have.

Donnie went into a steady depression. Bad news from doctor after doctor, long work days, not much nourishment, the depletion of all our savings to pay for household expenses as well as for Dr. visits and medication. Plus, the pain! He was always in horrible pain! There seemed to be no relief in sight!

Donnie wanted relief from the pain and he wanted me to do something! I did not know what to do! I called doctors and begged them to help. They'd tell me nothing was wrong but I knew that there was! It was frustrating!

In Nov. Dr. Lee pulled all the loose teeth and performed a biopsy. A week, or so, later Donnies gums were healing up. Our dear friend, Vikki Dodd gave us a Longhorn gift certificate. Off we went to Dalton GA., and enjoyed every single bite of the bread, salad, Renegade steak (the big one) and the potato. We started enjoying a lot of our old favorites again.

On Dec 23,02 Dr Lee called me and gave me the news. He said that he'd rather take a beating than to tell me what he had to say. He informed me that Donnie had a very rare cancer, Ameloblastic carcenoma. I called Donnies best friend, Mike Yates and Pastor Tom Roberts to be with me as I told Donnie the news. It was a hard night.

The very next day, 2 weeks later than his due date, Collin was born! We felt that it was a sign that all was going to be okay.We were hopeful anyway!

In Jan. 03 Pastor Roberts drove us to Emory clinic. It was a rainy day. We had to wait for hours! Donnie was in a lot of pain and he was getting frustrated.

We even had to wait for an hour once we were in the exam room. Pastor Roberts and I took turns fanning Donnie. It was so warm in there.

The doctor walked in, shook our hands then said that they were going to remove Donnies nose..,completely remove it. (I noticed his hands gripping the sides of the chair)She also said they'd be removing the roof of his mouth and possibly his top lip, parts of his brain and all bones infected with the cancer. She also said they'd be removing his lymph nodes. Then, she told us to have a nice day, sorry for the wait, and started out the door. I asked her what we were supposed to do about the pain, she prescribed strong medications and schedualed blood work, an MRI and several other tests and then she left.It was a long ride home. Longer than the usual hour and a half (or more) ride.

It has been an extremely hard time for Donnie and me.And saying that does not in any way express how hard it has been!

There have been days when I felt as if my mind and heart couldn't stand one more thing.., but, I found out that though it IS always hard to hear bad news and to go through wwek long days.., God is an ever present help in time of trouble.

My dad wrote a song entitled "Jesus has been with me through it all". It has become one of Donnies favorites. It has become very real to us. Bible verses, songs, testimonies, cards and prayers have become VERY helpful to us.

Cancer is an ugly word. I don't know that anyone who ever lives with it ever hears it's name without cringing.

Donnie's ups and downs, physically and mentally have been especially hard for me to learn to deal with. This is all new territory for us.We are still learning how to deal with all of this along with the every day NORMAL struggles of life. We still have NORMAL problems just like you do.Sick or hurting children, worry about grandkids, food, clothing, gas for the car, etc. Every day life goes on in addition to the problems of cancer. It is hard!

No one knows the daily routine of a caregiver unless they have been a caregiver. And, no one can really know how you feel unless they have been in the exact same set of circumstances. I have yet to meet the one who has been through what we are going through. Though all are kind, no one really knows and that is hard.It helps when we meet people who have gone through similar experiences.And we have met two others who knew someone without an upper pallate.

I have and will continue to do all I can to help see Donnie through to total healing. I get tired, frustrated, nervous, worried, down and discouraged but for the most part he doesn't know when I fell those ways. God ALWAYS brings us through.